Tag Archives for Sin

A Thousand Times I’ve Failed.

“If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.”

I can’t take it anymore. I can’t live the way I have been living. I am sick of being stuck in the same place… running so hard… but feeling like I’m moving no where.

No where.

But maybe that’s the problem: I am running so hard. I am attempting to fix everything that is wrong. I am depending on myself.

I know that I need to be closer to God… I know that I need to hear His voice. So  I make my own plans for what I will do to draw nearer to Christ. And I fail. I know that are areas of my life in which I am continually defeated by sin. I run around in circles over and over and over and over. So I make plans of what I will do to overcome. And I fail.

Then I get frustrated.

Then I feel hopeless.

Then I start to believe that it is impossible for things to ever change.

But what I need to begin doing is believing what God’s word says! God has redeemed me that I might walk in FREEDOM… not so that I can be weighed down by sin + failure + guilt + insecurity… and everything else that gets me.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
Galatians 5:1

With Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior FREEDOM is available. When freedom is available, change is possible. God CAN change us! We need to say this over and over again and pray for faith until we believe this truth in our hearts and in our minds!

It does not matter what you are struggling with or how long you’ve been fighting against sin + failure… God will change you.

Repeat after me:

WITH GOD NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
Romans 12:2

Death.

What would life be like if I was actually fully surrendered to God?
Completely.

Perhaps the greatest thing that God has impressed upon my heart in the past few months is death.
Death to myself.

Imagine if I let go of everything in my life that sought to bring glory to myself. Imagine if I literally began to live out what John 3:30 says, “He must become greater; I must become less.”

Imagine if I truly surrendered to God everything that once was… everything that once captivated my heart.

What would happen?

God would take me and make me like Him. 

“For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”
Colossians 3:3

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”
2 Corinthians 5:17

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
Galatians 2:20

“For if I build again those things which were destroyed, I make myself a transgressor.”
Galatians 2:18

“For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus; that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.”
2 Corinthians 5:14-15

“Knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin.”
Romans 6:6

Death is a dark and ugly word. It is a gruesome and often painful act.  But it needs to be said, it needs to be felt, and it needs to be lived, if we ever hope to have LIFE in Christ.

Death to self is the means to life in Christ.

It is impossible to live for Christ without first dying with Him.

Cleaning 101: Cleaning Out Your Closet.

Oh, floor space… How I missed thee!

I have one of those walk-in closets. Nothing crazy. Just a small one. Big enough for you to step in, do a little twirl, and step back out.

I really like it. The spaciousness gives opportunity for lots of organization BUT it also gives opportunity for lots of mess. The latter was what I was dealing with today… In a major way!

Nothing was where it was supposed to be. Clothes were everywhere except hanging on hangers or neatly folded and put away. Despite the fact that the mess had been irking me so much, every time over the past week that I decided that I was going to “handle it” I would end up putting it off until later… and I know exactly why.

Whenever my closet, or any place for that matter, is neat and tidy it just seems like the “right” thing to do to put something in it’s proper place. It’s like a natural inclination. However, when the place is already a wreck, I find myself justifying making an even greater mess by saying things like “I might as well just set this down on the floor for right now seeing as the whole room needs a cleaning anyway.” Or something along the lines of that.

As I was finally cleaning my closet this afternoon (#gettingthingsdone) I felt God use this whole situation to illustrate a great truth to me about my spiritual life.

It is so easy for things to spiral out of control if there is already something amiss.

If something is out of place in my spiritual life and I don’t take care of it right at the moment that I realize it then there is a great chance that my spiritual mess will continue to grow and grow until I eventually find myself stuck in a dark place wondering how I ever allowed myself to get there.

Do I have no peace? Am I giving way to fear? Am I struggling with sin? Living with guilt? What things in my life are out of place? What lies am I believing?

I must seek out those things that are amiss and put them in their proper place – right away. This is how we cleanse our hearts…
and our closets!

I Hate Myself.

     I seriously do. I hate myself. I hate that there is this ugly sinful nature inside of me and I hate those awful times when I give in to it. So much guilt, so much remorse, and so much disdain do I feel. It seems too much to bear. I literally loathe myself. In times of anxiety, fear, or pain, I usually run into the arms of God and allow Him to be my comforter. I find hope in His word and joy in His Presence. But at times like these, I feel that I just can’t. And that is what makes this weight so unbearable.

     I know the truth. I know in my head that God’s mercy remains for those who truly repent. I know that He is near to those with a broken and contrite heart (and my heart is broken for sure). But it is so terribly hard in the midst of this guilt and brokenness to understand these truths in my heart. I know that right at this moment I need to be meditating on God’s word but there is a part of me that refrains to do so because I know exactly how Jesus is going to deal with me. He is going to do what He is always so faithful to do. He is going to ask me to come to Him. He is going to take me back. And til this day, I still don’t understand why. Well, I mean I know why… because He loves us. But still, why? 

I feel guilty allowing Him to forgive me. I know that it is not fair and I know that I do not deserve it. How can it be right?

     Feeling like a dirty, cheating spouse, I go to Him with my head held low. I think of what I can do to make things right, but He tells me, “nothing”. He takes me back and asks for nothing in return but a loyal heart. It CAN’T be right. But it is.

It is so right.

Ben and Jerry… It’s Over!

Whenever we are struggling to keep a new commitment or make a transformation, I believe that it is important to remember:

It is not that the old way of life becomes unappealing, it is that a new PASSION overcomes those old appeals!

What I’m saying is that whether we are struggling with overcoming sin or becoming healthier, we must understand that just because we made a decision to turn from our old ways does not mean that the old way of life will  become any less appealing. Unfortunately, sin will not instantly lose it’s sparkle nor will Ben and Jerry’s Cookies N’ Cream ice cream taste any less heavenly (why, why, why does it have to be so good?!) We have got to understand that whenever a change is being made in our lives, our old ways will still appeal to us. We only overcome them when a new passion greater than our old way of life is born.